road_to_calvary: (Anguish)
Jean Valjean ([personal profile] road_to_calvary) wrote in [personal profile] lark_in_flight 2016-01-25 11:42 am (UTC)

He releases her hand so he may draw his own across his face. They seem to be two people in the dark, unable to find the light - but he belongs where he is, while she and Marius should step forward into a future full of sunshine. He does not want to stay behind, but this life she speaks of - the chair in the corner, talking with the grandfather, the birds in the garden...oh, he wants it so much, but it is something that has never been within his grasp. He thought telling Marius the truth would set all possibility of it away from him, and he would be allowed to languish where he is. To find himself being pulled on...he does not know what to do.

'Cosette-' he tries, but what can he say? There is much he does not understand, and he would rather not know, for it is easier to stay in a state of blissful ignorance and simply bask in her presence, her hand in his.

He has never allowed himself that luxury, and will not now. But he is sorry to let it go.

'How do I come to be here? How did you come to find me? Was it Javert?'

He remembers Javert in his apartment, but the man has been there before and though it was only days ago, the memories dance in front of him like a dream. The fatigue is more clear, the knowledge of that black curtain being pulled over his head. And now it is gone, but it leaves him as he was before - happier, certainly, because she is here, but no more free.

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